Tuesday, January 16, 2007
scooter gets an endorsement
Recently, the president of vice tricky dick cheney stated that scooter libby was one of the more honest men he knew. More honest than who? tricky dick himself or maybe tricky dicks underling w. Assuming that to be true, who would scooter brag to about that? Will he under oath at his perjury trial with his hand on a bible and two fingers crossed behind his back, proudly reply to Special Prosecutor Fitzpatricks cross examination that "I am one of the more honest men that the president of vice knows!...by god." To which Fitzpatrick must surely reply "that is why you are on trial for perjury". How many more honest men does tricky dick know? Alphabetized by last names first, the list must surely begin with Jack Abramoff, Duke Cunningham, Tom DeLay, Jeff Gannon, Ted Haggard and continue on and on through the federal prison system all the way to w. The president of vice probably doesn't know anyone whose last names begin with x,y, or z. Guys whose names begin with x,y, or z can't pass the security check and aren't allowed close enough to tricky dick to pass him any suitcases full of unmarked bills. Why didn't tricky dick call scooter the most honest man I know? Does the president of vice not know anyone who is most more honest than a defendant in a federal courtroom on trial for perjury? Probably not. Honesty doesn't get you very far in the president of vices administration. tricky dicks underling and amateur mouthpiece w knows full well that he best never tell the truth or he will get fired. Remember the tricksters hunting buddy Harry Whittington? After he truthfully told the president of vice "You're drunk and can't shoot straight", he ended up with a face full of birdshot quicker than a no bid halliburton contract gets approved at the state department. Swift retribution awaits all who speak the dreaded truth about subjects near and dear to the president of vices mechanical heart. And that is why scooter is where he is today. When Joe Wilson exposed the yellow cake uranium lie to the world, the president of vice sent his lap dog scooter out to discredit the Wilsons in the mainstream media. Yip, yap, yip howled scooter to the likes of Robert Novak and the infomercialists at fox news. "Wilson's a liar and his wife is a CIA agent" yipped scooter. "Remember the CIA? They're the ones that fed my daddy dick and his boy w all that bad intelligence about Iraq in the first place" scooters bawling continued. Luckily, Special Prosecutor Fitzpatrick turned the water hose on that bad doggie scooter and dragged his ass in front of a grand jury by the scruff of his neck. What did scooter do then? He lied like a rug to protect the president of vice. Soon scooter will learn his fate. Will he share a federal prison cell with Abramoff or Cunningham? Probably not. Prison officials make sure members of the same street gangs are kept apart from each other in prison. That way they can't recruit new members and continue their gang activities behind bars. Seriously though, let's hope that this trial will be the beginning of the end for this alleged administration. Like the tape on the door lock that the Watergate security guards found one night while Liddy, Hunt and the other burglars cowered in fear, will this trial be the start of the trail that leads all the way to the oval office? I certainly hope so. On a much more serious note, I wish that for once in his life the president of vice had told the truth when he muttered "the insurgency is in its last throes". Maybe then, the troops would all be home now. And safe.